Sometimes I feel as if I am incapable of loving anyone…

We are nothing but a memory now… Thanks for showing me what kind of person you really are.

I’ve been looking forward to seeing you and I saw you again after 3 weeks but we didn’t even bother to look twice at each other. We walked pass each other as if nothing ever happened between us. I honestly didn’t know what to feel right at that moment and I still don’t know what to feel. I can’t read your mind… I don’t know what you’re thinking. It’s driving me insane not knowing, but somethings are better left unsaid right? Wrong. I wish you would just tell me. I gave you chances to redeem yourself. I know you’re busy with your own life, but I want to be a part of it too. Obviously, I have my own things too but I always make time for you. I wait around for your phone calls and I cancel my plans to see you even if it’s just for a moment. I let someone take my shift at work because I felt bad for showing up 2-3 hours late our first couple of dates. I show up early to see you before class and I defend you constantly because most of my friends want to beat you up for hurting me. You always disappear on me and come to me when you need me. I just don’t understand. Can you please answer me? I need answers… I know you’re not the type of guy to commit, but I’m not the type of girl that commits either. I really want to work this out… I know it seems like I’m not “trying” as hard but I just need you to know what I’ve been giving up and what I did give up. Right before winter break, we had a talk about commitment and what did that do? Scare you? I’m sorry if it did but I need you to know the truth. I wasn’t saying all of that to scare you off or anything. Commitment is a real issue I’m dealing with. I know you’ve been through your fair share of problems with your family, job, etc. It’s not like I don’t have similar problems either. Is the truth that hard for you to tell me? I don’t want to push you into a corner and shake the truth out of you. I just want answers. If you don’t come up with answers for your actions soon, I’m not going to be the one chasing you and hunting you down for closure. I’ll be walking away from all of this and live my life normally just like before you came into my life; Simply strangers again.

Hi, I’m Jenn. (: